


My Tears Ricochet

by AdverbialWall5



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Flashbacks, Gen, Harry Dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:28:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdverbialWall5/pseuds/AdverbialWall5
Summary: Harry dies. Severus goes to his funeral.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Severus Snape
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	My Tears Ricochet

**Author's Note:**

> Disclamer: I don't own any part of Harry Potter, and any recognised characters are not my own, and I am not making any money from this. Also, the title is a song title and the work is loosely based off of it, read the end note for more details.
> 
> This is my first post on this site, and I am just trying to improve my writing, and what better way than to do it with something I love?  
> I hope you all enjoy it, and it might be a bit confusing, but read the end note of you don't get it after reading!

It was a warm day of February. There were no clouds in the sky and the trees swayed gently. Sunbeams grazed the Hogwarts grounds, casting shadows over the burial.

Severus Snape stood behind the rows of chairs, lined up in front of his tomb. The Boy who Lived. The Boy who Wasn’t Supposed to Die. 

He glanced over to the largest huddle of people. Potter’s closest friends were clinging to each other, distraught and rightfully so. They had the illusion of months, even years, ahead of them; they thought they had more time with him.

Severus thought back to the beginning of the school year. He had been roped into teaching Potter again. He almost refused. He wishes he did.

_ Dumbledore sat at his desk, elevated to give the illusion of superiority.  _

_ “You will be teaching Harry, it is in all of our best interests”. _

_ Severus glared at the old fool, who was sucking on a lemon drop with a satisfied expression. _

_ “No”. _

_ “My boy, you must. At least one of the Potter family must survive the war, and if it wasn’t for the prophecy falling into the wrong hands, none of this would have begun in the first place”. _

_ Severus knew at that moment that he had lost. Oh, Dumbledore knew just how to make it look like Severus had won, but when the fool had to subtly mention Lily and his role in this war in one sentence, Severus knew that he would do anything to get Harry taught. So he accepted while he still had the upper hand. _

_ “Only if he agrees to do it in the early hours of every Saturday and Sunday”. _

_ Dumbledore twinkled, “I’m sure he will have no problem with that, my boy!”. _

Severus remembered that first month well. He held the illusion that Potter was unteachable, a complete dunderhead. Oh, how wrong he was.

_ It was a month after the beginning of training. Harry was exhausted. Snape had been bringing him to this abandoned classroom every Saturday and Sunday at 3 a.m and not letting him leave until 8 a.m, only just giving him enough time for breakfast.  _

_ “Potter! You need to block my wand! The Dark Lord will not give you the luxury of daydreaming, and nor will I”. _

_ Harry glanced at the clock. 7:30.  _

_ “I’m so sorry Sir, could you please go over that again?” _

_ Harry watched as Snape’s face got redder with rage. _

_ “Do you even listen to anything I say! It is as if you are wanting to get killed! I understand why you are a Gryffindor, always waiting for someone else to guide you through things”. _

_ “Actually, the hat wanted to put me in Slytherin”. _

_ Snape scoffed in disbelief. “And Merlin had a wife! No, I know why you are in Gryffindor now, it is because you are unbelievably ‘brave’. Do you really think I would believe you? No, Potter”. _

_ Before he could go on a tirade, Severus decided to save his energy. There were only 30 minutes left, after all. _

_ He watched Snape perform the incantation again, waiting until he was just about to cast. _

_ “Protego! Expelliarmus! Arresto Momentum!” _

_ Severus stared in fascination at Potter’s spellwork. He blocked Severus’s spell, then disarmed him and countered Severus’s attempt at getting his wand back by slowing its movement and making his wandless ‘accio’ miss. _

_ Harry walked over to the door and unlocked it with Snape’s wand, then placed it onto one of the dusty school tables. He opened the door, wanting to leave before Snape could shout at him. _

_ “Potter! Wait,” Severus whispered. “Make sure you come back tomorrow, please.” _

_ Harry scrunched his nose up at the thought of being back in this classroom, but before he could reply, Snape said something else. _

_ “I promise we will do something different” _

A tear rolled down his face as he blinked slowly. Severus couldn’t help but compare the Potter from the first months and the Harry from a week ago. 

_ Harry walked into Snape’s quarters, their new meeting place. It made sense, as the past three classrooms ended up being found by teeneagers ‘exploring’ in the first two months of them training together. _

_ “Potter. What reading have you been doing for this week?”. _

_ Harry enjoyed the Saturday mornings now. It was nice, being able to go over his extra reading and asking for a more experienced and professional opinion on some of his more ‘interesting’ theories. _

_ “I read the newest potion book you gave me. I was wondering how the stinging potion would react if it was made using a throwable base rather than a base that had to be digested? It would cover a much larger amount of people and can be used in battle rather than just in torture.”. _

_ Harry had come on so far, and Severus hated it. It was impossible to see him as a miniature James Potter when he showed intellect that rivaled Severus’s own as a teen. Especially in potions. Harry (as he had taken to calling him Harry in his head, to take away some of the unneeded hatred of the boy) wasn’t even supposed to be good at potions. He was supposed to excel at defense, and that’s it!  _

_ “That is an acceptable idea in theory, but which base would you use? The one that is the most compatible is not compatible enough, as it would explode as soon as it cooled. Also, how are we supposed to use it in a battlefield and avoid hitting our own soldiers?” _

_ “Well, I thought about that, and I thought that other potions that are digestible and throwable aren't the exact same? So there has to be some change in ingredients, and for on the battlefield, it could be like some poison cures? So we could all take a potion before that would make us resistant to the stinging potion, and then even if we are splashed we would be fine? I started with the cure, but based it on the one you swallow”. _

_ Harry handed over some parchment with detailed annotations on, and Severus scowled at it.  _

_ “That’s enough chatter for today. Get into battle stance”.  _

_ Harry was used to the abrupt changes, especially after working closely with Snape for five months, but this one seemed different. _

_ Severus recognised his own curt tone, but he couldn’t muster up enough regret to care. He duelled with Harry as he had done for the four months that he had been training Harry properly. He watched Harry’s technique closely and countered everything he threw. _

_ As they both came to a standstill, deciding it was a tie without saying the words, Severus tore into Harry. _

_ “Several moves in there were incredibly lazy. You could have rolled multiple times instead of dodging, which meant you could get up faster. Some spells were not cast fast enough and you didn’t use a mixture of spoken and wordless! How on earth do you expect to survive this war?”. _

_ Harry looked up suddenly. He had tried his best, and he had easily done better than he had ever done before.  _

_ “Sir, I don’t understand-” _ _  
  
_

_ “Save it! I don’t understand how you are still so useless! It has been months of training, along with your school lessons. I have no idea how you could still be so behind, there is no help for your intellect!”. _

_ “Right. Okay. Thank you, Sir. I’ll take that into consideration next time.” _

_ Severus sighed when he realised what Harry wasn’t saying to him. _

_ “Harry, “ Severus muttered. “Look, I don’t know what came over me. I know you are doing better and I know you have progressed so far-”  _

_ “Sir, it’s okay. I know I could be better. I just thought I was doing better than I was. You just brought me back down to earth, I guess, “ Harry laughed self-depreciatingly. _

_ Severus didn’t know what to say. His eyes followed Harry as he walked out of his door, shutting it with a soft click. _

_ He sighed and put his head in his hands. _

Severus looked up as someone called his name. Molly Weasley was coming over, looking more dejected than he had ever seen. 

“How are you doing, Severus?” She asked, with her face pinched in grief.

“How am I doing? I am fine, I never was close to the insufferable brat, as is proper for a teacher”.

Ron looked over in confusion, “But Harry said that he was doing extra potions lessons with you”.

Severus glared at the boy, who unknowingly revealed ‘classified’ information, aka information that Dumbledore didn’t want everyone in the Order to know.

“Yes, I may have spent more time with Potter after Yule, but that does not mean we were  _ close _ . He was here as a tool, as something that Dumbledore wanted to win this war.” Severus moved over to the front and stood in front of the casket, speaking while he did so, “Potter wasn’t supposed to die yet, he was supposed to survive and kill the Dark Lord. He should not have died yet. It is his own fault! He wasn’t prepared enough, he did not try hard enough, he should still be here with-”.

Severus stopped himself before he could get any further, and moved back to his seat at the very back. He breathed heavily, collecting himself and clearing his mind. He held his hand to his chest and moved it to his neck, and brushed his hand against the chain.

He hadn’t taken it off for a month.

_ It was December, and Snape had finally decided that it was time for Harry to move from potions and spellwork to cursed objects. _

_ “Cursed objects aren’t just ‘dark’ or ‘evil’, Potter. Wrap your small mind around that first, and you may be able to make one soon enough.” _ _  
  
_

_ Harry breathed in shakily. He was nervous to actually make a cursed object, he had read that they could go disastrously wrong if not crafted properly. _

_ Severus saw the trepidation on Harry’s face and was pleased. It seemed that he was doing well in impressing the dangerous nature of magic into him, and he was taking it all in his stride, even if a bit too cautiously.  _

_ That morning Severus demonstrated how a dark cursed object was made and destroyed, and how a light cursed object was created.  _

_ A month later, Harry had perfected the crafting of light cursed objects. He was especially good at protection charms and runes, something that Severus was pleased with as he knew that Harry would need it. _

_ Severus noticed that Harry kept glancing at him, and was starting to get irritated.  _

_ Harry was nervous. The last time he went to see Dumbledore, he had told Harry that Snape’s birthday was in January, and Harry knew that he wasn’t particularly liked by the school or the Order, so he wanted to get him something. He decided to put his lessons to use, and made Snape a protection necklace. He really didn’t know how Snape would take it, so he had decided to give him it and then run out of his quarters. Harry looked at the clock (7:05) then glanced at Snape.  _

_ He was staring at Harry. _

_ “Potter! You have been looking at me all morning! What is the matter with you?”. _

_ Harry really didn’t want to reply, but looking at Snape’s face he knew he had to. _

_ “Well, the thing is, I was told-”. _

_ “Spit it out!”. _

_ Harry threw the pendant at Snape.  _

_ “It is your birthday this month. Here is a present, I guess”. _

_ Harry looked at him, and saw Snape just staring at the present.  _

_ “Well, I’ve been practising on protection jewellery and i wanted to make one for everyone, and this is the best I have done so far, and I knew that you would tell me if it wasn’t good enough, and I can make it better if you want-”. _

_ Severus looked at Harry in disbelief. Of course, he knew exactly who had told him, but Harry didn’t have to do anything about it past a simple ‘Happy Birthday’!  _

_ He noticed that Harry was looking more and more anxious, so Severus broke the silence. _

_ “Thank you. I haven’t received anything for my birthday from anyone but Albus for many years. It will be appreciated.”. _

_ He slipped it on immediately, and felt a massive rush of magical power that blew him away. He knew that Harry was teachable, but had forgotten how much potential he had.  _

_ Harry was so happy! Snape didn’t shout at him! Or kick him out! This was the best possible outcome, and he was so glad he had made him it now. _

_ Severus continued the lesson on the destruction of cursed objects that killed upon touching. _

Severus moved away from the crowd as soon as the burial was over. He had to report, after all.

In Dumbledore’s office, he took a seat without being offered one and put his head in his hands.

“My boy, what is wrong? You know that it was unavoidable”.

“I know”.

“You were the only one that could do it”.

“I am aware”.

“Don’t feel regret, my boy. I would have requested someone else to do it, if there was someone more suitable-”.

Severus snapped, “I know. You have told me this already. I was the closest at the time. I have done it already. My soul is already broken. I just wish it wasn’t me, for once.”

Dumbledore didn’t know what to say.

“Everyone reacted exactly as you expected them to. You can continue with your plans”.

“My boy, this is the only way-”.

“I have heard that before”.

*

Severus shot up in bed, he felt as though he had just shut his eyes. 

A loud creak echoed through his quarters, putting him on high alert. 

He moved slowly, picking up his wand as he moved into the living space. He took note of the shadow pattern, indicating someone sat on his couch with the fireplace in use.

The man turned his head to face Severus.

“Hi, Snape! It’s a good morning, isn’t it? That book you let me read was so good,” the man looked at Severus. “Hey, what’s wrong? It’s like you’ve seen a ghost!”.

  
Harry’s laugh  reverberated through Severus’s quarters, as the man laughed and Severus looked on with a pale face.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I really hope I executed it well ☺  
> One thing I am really inspired by is listening to songs and writing things based off of the song, so this one shot is loosely based off of 'My Tears Ricochet' by Taylor Swift (hence the title).  
> If you are still confused by any part of the story, please leave a comment and let me know, because I have no idea if it is understandable or not!  
> Also, I didn't really know what additional tags to put, so if you could let me know if they were okay that would be great!  
> Please leave comments and Kudos if you enjoyed! I am hoping to post again soon :))


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